Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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