I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize