You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
