I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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