i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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