i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
