How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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