it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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