nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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