Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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