On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
