i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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