So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
