You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
