True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize