Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
