whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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