To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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