i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
