dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
