If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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