come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
