i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize