did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
