that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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