I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
