i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
