I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
