What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
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WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
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So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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