It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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