I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
