I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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