Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
