Ambien. No doubt about it.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize