uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The uberlube is also flammable
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
