They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize