is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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