K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
