you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
