hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
