HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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