So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
