pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
