i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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