wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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