just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
