My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
