Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize