Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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