Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
