i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
