i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
