and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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