I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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