Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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