Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
