he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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