God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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