he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize