Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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